without even trying...

I've got to stop interviewing actors and musicians and get back to comics. They're funnier. That being said, I've always liked Andrew W.K. ever since I saw him on MTV hosting a slumber party at a black sorority and letting the ladies give him cornrows. In that one sweet moment, I just wanted to adopt Andrew W. K., wash his clothes, cut his hair and give him a bath. Plus, it's also fun to drive around San Francisco in the middle of the night screaming "I Get Wet" at the top of one's lungs. Thus, I sent him an e-mail with 5 questions. I do this a lot, picking random people to bother and rarely do they reply. God Bless him, the bloody mess responded. He's no Jacob Sirof, but I give him props for writing back, as he's currently on tour in Asia or Buffalo or something...

SPOTS: Who is your favorite Golden Girl and why?
ANDREW W.K.: I haven't seen an entire episode of the Golden Girls in a few years, but I used to enjoy it very much. I liked the unusual characters and the rhythm of the show. I didn't feel (and still don't) that I need to pick a favorite actress, but I enjoyed Blanche a lot and also Betty White's character. I had a friend who's Mom really hated Betty White for playing so "dumb" - I think my friend's Mom took it as an insult towards all women's intelligence. This same friend's Mom also wrote an editorial about why the "Lockhorns" cartoon was sexist - I understand where she was coming from, but I've always liked both Betty White and The Lockhorns.


SPOTS: What is your favorite thing about San Francisco, Mayor, Gavin Newsom?
AWK: I don't feel I'm familiar enough with Gavin Newsom to have a favorite thing about him, however I greatly respect his passionate moral sense and efforts for freedom of marriage, and I think he's also related to musician Joanna Newsom, who I just saw play a concert the other day. I enjoyed it.
(He's right! They are indeed related. Well played, WK. -Spots)

SPOTS: Is the song, "She is Beautiful" about me, and if not, who?
AWK: Yes, it is about you, because you think it is. I hope my songs encourage complete subjectivity in the listener and a feeling that all the songs are about them specifically - as if they were made for them and I was just someone in their imagination they invented to make up a song to suit them.
(What? Is that a yes or a no? I think it's a yes. -Spots)

SPOTS: If you were homeless, what would your cardboard sign say?
AWK: I can't see any situation where if I was homeless, I would choose to sit on the street with a cardboard sign of any kind. Even if I was destitute, I can't imagine that I'd spend much time on the street. I guess it comes down to what other choices I had. If I had no other choice but to sit on the street with a cardboard sign, it would probably say, "I'm being forced to sit here with this sign, when all I really want to do is something else." I feel compassion for anyone who do chooses to sit on the street with a cardboard sign, as I imagine they may feel as though they have no other choice. I wish to remind them and us, that we do have choices, and because of this, I respect their choice and love them no less because they may choose differently than I.
(I have reread this like, 8 times. I'm still confused. -Spots)

SPOTS: What's it like to be "Big in Japan"?
AWK: I'm 6 foot 3 inches tall, so when I'm in Japan, it's easy to feel pretty big. Most people there seem to be between 5 feet and 5 feet 10 inches, so it's not been too difficult to feel taller than them. However, there are certainly many people who are bigger in Japan than I am - think of the basketball stars that go over there! They must really feel like giants!

You can see Andrew tonight in the big apple, or visit his website and listen to "She is Beautiful" over and over, because it's apparently about me...

*Also, these bitches are on my couch. Wanna know where I hang out? Right here. Eww...