Friday, March 26, 2010

i think en vogue wrote a song about this...

It occurs to me as I finally roll in from a quick drink after work which turned into a 6-hour dinner that I have spent this week in the company of some rather lovely men. I forget, what with my cadre of girlfriends and homosexuals and Big Chris, that there is a whole species of well-intentioned door-openers and story-tellers who rarely get the praise I forget they deserve. These men, straight and standard, laugh at our jokes and stand to meet our friends. They offer casual insights and lean forward with interest. They do this thing when we run through traffic. I can't explain it. It's a thing, a protective thing. And it's nice.
These men, some in t-shirts, some in ties, watch our bags while we pee and have a fresh drink waiting upon our return. They tap our knee to make a point and offer the barstool so we can sit. They don't really judge and they really aren't that complicated.
To put it simply, these men walk the very fine line of treating us equally but different.
And so, on behalf of the harried, urban, working women who hear creepy things from cab drivers and get groped on the bus, from the spinsters cursing exes to the ignored annoying girlfriends, and because sometimes, we just plain forget to appreciate that thing you do when we run through traffic: Gentlemen, I salute you...

6 comments:

generic said...

It's a fine line alright.

My momma explicitly taught me not to do it (opening doors, offering seats, protective chivalry). She said it stems from when women were thought unable to do such things. Child-like dainty flowers, etc.

I don't know. I just want explicit rules to follow. Can we form a convention?

this stuff notwithstanding said...

Men for others as my momma is fond of reminding me.

Sometimes, it really is that simple.

generic said...

Yeah but... I have no idea what that means.

Beth Spotswood said...

I feel like Potter Stewart here, but I know it when I see it. For example, I had dinner last night with 2 fellas I hadn't seen in ages. Dinner was lovely, spent laughing and discussing shit and making fun of each other. As we left our booth and I was the last to scooch out, they both stood there chatting. I couldn't figure out why we were waiting. Then I realized they were waiting for me to walk out first. Because I'm the girl. No one said anything, there was so big "after you!" gesture. It was instinctive and subtle. I smiled and thought, "Oh yeah. That."

Brock said...

En Vogue is some seriously good shit.

Mousqueton said...

Thank you Beth, I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Being a gentlemen is not about superiority; it is about respect and good manners when in the presence of a lady and I must say, Beth is certainly a lady that deserves that treatment.